yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
he shaved USA in his pubs
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
