Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
