You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
