if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize