She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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