Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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