Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
