if only i could text you this smell
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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