He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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