Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
