I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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