she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize