I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
