Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize