Its about making memories worth repressing
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
