yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
