One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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