dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
