Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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