i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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