Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
