I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
