I'm gonna have a badass scar
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize