Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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