I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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