Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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