I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize
