When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
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answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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