tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I've blown a few things in my day
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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