You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
