so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
