her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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