What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
