I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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