i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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