He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Hippo gnu deer
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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