This dress was meant to end up on your floor
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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