this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
