I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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