it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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