he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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