hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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