Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
