you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
