He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
