Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
no you cant smoke seaweed
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize
