I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
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Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
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I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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