Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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