You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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