Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
