I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
