So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
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he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
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I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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