no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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