why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
