you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
