This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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