did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize