On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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