just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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