peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
