are you so shy because you have an std?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Randomize
