drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Ketchup is God's man juice
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
